ABUSIVE BEHAVIOUR between teenaged guys and girls is very common and some of us may have wrong ideas about abuse in relationships. Abuse isn’t just hitting or shoving there are many other behavioural patterns that count as abuse. Also, both guys and girls can be abusive. There are behaviours that many of us would pass as normal that aren’t cool at all. Pressuring or forcing someone into a sexual situation against her or his will is a serious form of abuse.
WHAT’S THE PROBLEM?
Emotional abuse: This includes hurting someone’s feelings on purpose.
Verbal abuse: Yelling, making threats, or mocking the person you’re with counts as verbal abuse.
Sexual: This is forcing a partner to engage in a sex act when he or she does not or cannot consent. This can be physical or nonphysical, like threatening to spread rumors if a partner refuses to have sex.
Stalking: This refers to a pattern of harassing or threatening tactics that are unwanted and cause fear in the victim.
Controlling behavior: Calling a partner repeatedly to ask where she is, telling her who she can hang out with, or reading her texts or checking her cell phone without her permission isn’t cool.
MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICES
Know that abuse equals big trouble. For something that may seem trivial to you, like smashing your girlfriend’s mobile phone on the ground, you could be looking at criminal charge of damage to property which does carry jail time. Hitting someone, slapping someone, or having sex with someone who has said “no” can bring serious legal action no matter where you live.
Know your own boundaries and listen to the inner you. If you feel like an action is wrong, DON’T DO IT – no matter what. If someone you like hits you or hacks into your email, you shouldn’t do it in return. Your peers may pressure you to retaliate but the smartest thing would be to ignore them and be your own person. If the person you’re dating is abusive, don’t tolerate it, walk away from it.
Admit to yourself the difference between an abusive relationship and a normal (loving) one. It may be easier said than done but in speaking to an adult, someone you trust will help you make the right choice.
You can’t control everything and guess what you’re not supposed to! FACT!! “If someone you like or love wants to stop seeing you, all the pleading, watching, and controlling in the world won’t make this person yours” If you can’t trust someone or you feel insecure when they’re away – you may need to let the relationship go.
We encourage you avoid bad behaviour, whether you’re dating, linking up, or chilling out with your friends. By recognizing abusive behavior, you can avoid trouble, protect the people around you, and set yourself up to do well later on in life.