All the relationships around me seem to be fueled by deception. Husbands and wives keeping secrets from each other, coworkers being two faced with their bosses and peers. Mothers and daughters at odds over hidden agendas and silver tongues, best friends parting ways with a cloud of questions, the most prominent being, why, where is this coming from? All of them lying in hopes to spare themselves from judgment or to protect the feelings of the other person.
I went to high school with a young lady who had extremely bad perspiration. We all know that one person can clear any room when they raise their hand.
My classmates always debated whether or not we should tell her.
Every day she’d come to school, and everyday being around her would be difficult. I often feared that one day she would make the wrong person angry and they’d blurt it out and hurt her feelings.
Situations like this, train our minds in terms of what we deem acceptable. You could be met with gratitude and genuine gratefulness that you saved them further embarrassment; however you also run the risk of the person feeling insulted and hurt.
Would you tell an acquaintance that they needed deodorant– would you want them to tell you?
People like to say clichés like, ‘I’m trying to find myself’, or ‘I’m trying to discover who I am’, when they want to ease their way out of a break up. They also say: ‘It’s not you, it’s me. How can I truly give you something I don’t have for myself”. When we don’t have a good reason for something or we come upon something we can’t understand, our default is to attempt to find the route that leaves us guilt free.
The truth is those lines say that this person’s wellbeing is not your first priority, but I’m still unsure if she would have preferred the comfort of a rouse over the respect of honesty.
I found myself consumed with what I would want if it were me. For a whole day I weighed the pros and cons of each option. At one point I was sure I’d prefer the lie (ignorance is bliss i told myself), spare yourself the hurt I thought and then it hit me, secure the future.
That’s what’s important, it’s not about remembering the past unscarred, it’s about ensuring happiness and prosperity moving forward. So I concluded, knowledge is power and acceptance of the things you can’t change (like the past) will give you strength to tackle your present.
The decision to take the knowledge you’ve gotten and turn it into a tool for personal development is how you will use your past as a stepping stone towards your overall growth.
I counselled my friends to tell a teacher the situation and let her speak to our classmate, even if she wouldn’t see it right away, we’d keep our conscience clear while giving her the priceless opportunity to become better.