Everybody and their mama think they’re a rapper these days. If I see one more “Doll” and “Lil” this or “Lil” that, imma lose it!
We’re steady tryna“do it for theculture”, but clearly, the culture is dying thanks to mumble rappers and a million dolls. #SaveHipHop
Let’s start with this disease called ‘Love and Hip Hop’. I swear, any and everybody comfortably brags about being a rapper these days, because shows like LHH provides them with a platform. The show is called ‘Love and Hip Hop’ right? Hence, viewers need to see cast mates in studio, rapping about having a bag and million dollar houses (ON LEASE) and other material things. (Better keep bringing the drama before Mona cancels these cheques!)
Of course, most of the cast members have no background in rap whatsoever, nor have a passion for the art, but hey, anyone can become a rapper these days right?
Here are the requirements to become a female rapper now: (1) have a cute face (2) have a sick body (you know the kind every female in the music industry has these days) and…. That pretty much sums it up folks! You can become the next ‘big’ thing (oops I mean IG ‘famous’) once you meet those requirements. Then, you’ll hop in the booth, make a few words rhyme and suddenly you’ve got a ‘career’. Careful, though, you may have to degrade yourself in order to get there.
Next on the list: How to become a male rapper 101. Curious aren’t you? I’m sure you want to know! You want to flex like these rappers on the gram, put a few grills, you know… live large.Well love bug, simply hop on a sick beat and mumble spontaneously: “I gotta house, I gotta lam, (skrrt!) somebody call paramedics, I’m giving them a heart attack! Mmmmeskghghighabcdefggibberishnonsense.”
See folks, that’s how it works: you get a record deal, you get a record deal, everybody’s getting record deals!
I mean look at our famous rappers these days: Lil Pump, Tekashi 69, Danielle Bregoli A.K.A. Bhad Barbie A.K.A. ‘Cash Me Ousside How Bow Dah?”(Thanks Dr. Phil!)
I mean, don’t get me wrong. We have a number of talented rappers. In fact, we have a whole lot. You’ll just have to get lost in a sea of untalented ones first. (No biggie right?) The sad part is a lot of the talented artistes don’t get half the recognition they deserve, meanwhile the talentless ones are gaining all the success. Please, please, I’m begging, let’s save hip hop!
By: Basic B