Big Woman You Big Woman So?

You Better Respect Your Mudda Because That Boy You Like Eh Go Save You and School Boy Your Friends Eh Go Save You Either!

Lord knows, I cyah have children yet because these children nowadays outta hand and straight outta pocket and I eh trust myself enough to handle that well. (And plus, tings just too expensive.) These children rude and cantankerous I tell you(some of them even cursing people that old enough to be their grandmother!)But children I have news for you: ‘MALAYDICION’ IS REAL!

A lot of children like to play they macho in front of their friends: Some boys will try to get a girl’s attention by hissing like a snake (“Pssst! Princess, you looking good eh”) but if she ignores them, or gives them a response they don’t like, they’ll diss her cuz they eh want their friends to think they soft (plus they have to hide how hurt they really are after getting a blow like that.)

Some children will bad up their parents in front of their friends, or bad up their teacher, because they have to show their friends they eh no pappyshow. (Mind you, when they sitting down in Princy office, they scared more than anything but they cyah show people that.) Some of them have parents that will beat the living daylights out of them, trust me!And some have parents that eh care, so they consider themselves “lucky”. (So oblivious and naïve eh?) Now there are parents that are even afraid of their children and it’s downright sad.

Let me tell you sumfing: you see all the beatings I got as a child? Gasa I eh lying, I deserved all; ALL. As a matter of fact, I needed more licks. If my mother didn’t lick me dong soand talk to me noff times, I wouldn’t learn.

Children it’s time for your’ll to respect your’ll elders and start making the right decisions! It’s also important for your’ll to remember to stay in a child’s place! (Eh mind my spelling, my message good gasa.) I coming down hard on your’ll because I eh like to see when life beat your’ll dong gasa. (You should see some of my classmates now, gasa, they eh looking good. I will never laugh at them, mind you, cuz 1. It’s not right and 2. You never know what your future holds.)

Next time you thinking of disrespecting your parents who worked so hard to give you money so you could buy bake and cheese in the canteen, think twice. They just want the best for you cuz they know what life can do to people when they make bad decisions.

Now, for those of you that like to run at the front of the bus after school, remember the men who prey on girls like you, will drop you like hot coals when they finish with you. Doh disrespect your mother for the boy in school or the man that eh care about you, because tifi if there’s one thing I’ve learnt in life: we will always need our parents. When other people turn their backs on us, our parents will come to our rescue. But doh burn your bridges with them cuz sometimes it just go be too late.

By: Basic B

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